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I have questions.

Do you have answers?

1. Why do I never, ever, EVER have a pen handy? I buy a lot of pens. And yet? Not handy.

2. How can a child be an eight week old baby one moment and a second grader with no front teeth the next?  Are we talking time-space continuum warp? What am I missing?

3. Why is what I want to eat never in the fridge? Do I have a syndrome?


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Reader Comments (11)

1) There is a pen-sucking black hole somewhere in your shop, and maybe one in your house. Bright lights and white things can help point out the black hole - unfortunately, there is no way to remove the pen-sucking menace, but at least you should be able to avoid putting pens near it.

2) I got nuthin.

3) There are gnomes in your home. They steal mismatched socks and tasty food. Unfortunately, they are strong enough to open the fridge, but small enough that the Horsedog doesn't see them as a threat. Small kittens with sharp claws may be able to alert her to the danger of tiny creatures. Just hope they don't give her treats, too...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather S

1. All YOUR pens are in MY bag.
2. My baby just turned 9 and has braces. My 12 y/o just went to his first "job," helping a neighbor with yard work.
3. I have a quart of strawberries from my garden in my fridge. Come on over and I'll make you a pie. Or strawberry shortcake.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIngrid

1) Pen stealing gremlins. It's a rampant problem.

2) They grow when you aren't looking.

3) If you wanted to eat that stuff you would have done so the first time.
I'd recommend going over to your neighbors house and looking in their fridge.
Perhaps their leftovers will appeal to you.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

3/ You can not eat, have eaten and will eat. It's a fact, not fair, but still is.

2/ Mushrooms syndrome, they grew during the night.

1/ Fairy Theory is true in all the world. My gnomes have name: Husband, co-workers, children!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarina

1. Pens? I've given up buying pens.

2. And tomorrow they will be parents. Just sayin'.

3. It is always more appetizing to look in someone else's fridge. You might try that.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

1. I think it is gnomes who take the pens, not raid the fridge.
2. Our baby is 25!!!! and I don't have a clue what happened, nor how she got there or what we were doing while it was happening--it might have something to do with quantum physics.
3. You are probably just too hot to eat at the moment--or is that me? It is scorching hot here!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlyin' Bobbin

1. there's a universal rule: You can have the pen, or the paper. Not both at the same time. Clearly you have a TON of note paper in your house! Get rid of it and the pens will magically appear. Of course, you will have to write on your kitchen walls....

2. I don't know how this happens. My "baby" turns five in October. And my "second baby" is 16 months. Next they'll be picking out my nursing home.

3. We always want what we don't have. Know what I want? A magic fridge that automatically pops up whatever it is that I am hankering for. :)

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

Pens like socks end up in a mysterious place that mortals dare not go. That's why you can buy them in bags a of a gazilion for a dollar.

The craving thing I so get. My frig is thankfully full of good honest nutritious food - why is it then that I always have to go to the store for Cheetos? Weird!!!!

And yes children live in a time vortex - I mean Jason was laying on a blanket cooing at us all yesterday and now he's about to turn 13 - all in the process of what feels like a week not 13 years. My questions is at what age do we leave the vortex and settle into constant state of slow growth???

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

1. You have children. Enough said.
2. You blinked. I swear, that's it. I blinked and my baby went from cute toddler to college freshman. Don't blink any more. Tape your lashes to the top of your brow to prevent further passage of time.
3. Marketing. Either that or you just don't have enough chocolate in the house.

Hope this helps... oh, and for the eye taping - duct tape now comes in pretty pink polka dots.. just so you know.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Just saw on your Tweet that HorseDog is expecting. Now this is exciting. Was this an accident, as in she escaped from the yard. Or was this a planned adventure. Puppies, how great is this?!

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl Adams

1. I solved the pen dilemma in my house when I realized there were dozens hiding in my husband's car. I'd like to blame him, but I think it's the kids' fault -- he drives them to school and they bring the beginnings of drawings, etc, when they go. So, check the cars.

2. It's a good thing I still have a baby because I don't remember much from my middle child's baby and toddlerhood. I blame having 2 babies in 2 years. With the 4 year gap this time, I've been able to sit back and appreciate him more without any toddlers to keep from falling down stairs and whatnot.

3. I'm with you on the fridge.

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy F

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